The First 35 are the Toughest!
August 2nd marked a special day on my calendar. This weekend Shelly and I quietly celebrated our 35th wedding anniversary. There wasn't a lot of hoopla or noise associated with our event this time, but we did enjoy a special toast together and were able to share some laughs and stories with our family while enjoying a picture perfect Michigan summer evening together. Suffice it to say that of all the countless decisions I've made in my life, asking Shelly to marry me remains the single best decision I've ever made and 35 years have gone by in a flash, as a great adventure together. Proverbs 18:22 says “He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the Lord.” I can attest to the truth of that adage.
With that background you might imagine my dismay while driving into work the following Monday while listening to the banter between two DJ’s on a local radio show. They were talking about some celebrity getting engaged that had just recently made a public announcement shunning the need for a prenuptial agreement. To be honest, I did not know who the celebrity was they were talking about, nor have I ever seen a prenuptial agreement. The conversation was just dead air time between songs to me, until one of the DJ’s made his point that it was a bad idea for them to proceed any further with their marriage plans without said agreement because in his words, “Today people only marry for about 20 years and then they move on to a new one.” That comment stopped me. While I believe what he said probably does reflect the current social norms in America in many cases, I do not think it describes what I think the true intent of marriage is, or should be. While marriage and divorce are very complicated and heartfelt topics, I would like to draw one leadership principle out of the conversation.
Leaders are committed. When people take up the mantel of leadership, to be successful they need to be fully committed to the cause for which they are called to lead. To be a leader will require sacrifice, it will require perseverance and it will require endurance. Nothing great comes easy, and a leader will need to endure many hardships along the journey. When people tell me that they want to be a great leader, I often first look to see evidence of their ability and willingness to become fully committed and to pay the sacrificial price required to serve others and to lead them well.
It is my hope that people entering into marriage would understand that leadership is required in relationships as much as it is needed in business or any other activity. Indeed, the mantel of leadership is heavy and it is not to be placed on weak shoulders. May all who decide to enter into a relationship as sacred as marriage stay strong to their vows, “until death do us part”.
Stay Strong,
Terry
